Elephant Post #2
The elephant is not dead, because we have to show Mrs. Stahl, but after that I say we should blow it up. Another option is to continue working on it. Or the Mayas could keep it forever. Or maybe you have an alternative, equally radical idea for the elephant's future. Vote here, by clicking "comment" at the bottom of this post.
posted by spookybathtub @ 10:56 PM
2 Comments:
you should gradually feed it precisely 68,941 peanuts. after you've fed it the peanuts, wait until it gets fat. then make fun of it. (not that we have anything against fat people, cuz food rocks!) then once the elephant starts acting like a blonde (not that we have anything against blondes) and complaining that it's fat, it will become either (a depressed b) an anorexic or c) both a and b. then after it's starved itself, it will eat a whole bottle of elmers glue in desperation. you see, it can't make elephant fat, it's just liquid. kind of.
anyway, the elephant's stomach (does he have a stomach?) won't quite agree with the glue so it will develope a very rare funky mecha-ela disease. to cheer him up you will take him to see the davinci code. but that will just anger him and get him all worked up. then he'll start writing letters to the editor about A MOVIE. a FICTIONAL MOVIE. then he will drink a whole thing of diet coke (wait, kendra says to make the elephant drink gasoline. but kendra, there's no gasoline at the movie theater. duh. oops, kendra's mad. ok, kendra says that its a mechanical theater, whatever the heck that is.) ok, he will drink a cup of diet coke but the evil albino guy from the davinci code movie jumps out of the screen! oh, my! then he slips in some gasoline into your precious elephant's drink. so then, because your elephant is desperate for nourishment (it will all be your fault because you fed it 68,941 peanuts. you should be feeling guilty at this point. kendra says not to hurt your feelings or anything.) it will drink the beverage. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! it will be the elephants final hour. (i feel the tears coming)
as the elephant drinks the cup, he thinks about all the time he and you guys have spent together, and he realizes that you guys were behind all of it. so he shouts, 'curse you, members of the girls and boys club of bandera #35545, you who forced upon me complete humiliation, you who managed to move only 4 objects in tech transfer division III! curse you!'
whoa, that was a pretty impressive speach, by our standards.
anyway, then the elephant dies. good-bye, hasta la vista (excuse us, we don't know any spanish, amigo) ciao, ok, we um... can't think of any other farewells for the elephant at the moment.
ok um... we just want to say, before we go, that you guys are complete monkeys! which is a good thing, not a bad thing.
make trade fair! go to www.maketradefair.com and join the big noise!
listen to more arctic monkeys, coldplay, and panic! at the disco.
get involved. our generation can make a difference in the world. listen to bono. bono, we love you, you rock!!!!!!!!!
sorry, i don't remember bono's website. all hail google!
don't go to sea world. fight for animal rights.
peace is the answer! protest!
kendra's has no idea what i'm writing about. kendra says i don't know how to spell. hush, kendra, i'm trying to make a difference in the world. be an activist!
don't let people take your rights away!
kendra says that this is about a mechanical elephant, not all this protest talk.
peace out,
arctic monkeys rule!! kendra says to say 'arcic monkeys ROCK instead of rule. i say rule.
kendra says that sounds funny.
bye.
hey, does anyone know of any drummers?
my band is in desperate need of one.
peace out.
Post a Comment
<< Home